Hiatus.

I’m not even in the mood to blog nowadays. Kthxbai.

Exams SUCK.

Exams are the worse shit ever I swear! I hate the fact that I have to sit down on the table and actually study for my maths-related modules. Sometimes, I just wish that I was in FMS whereby they don’t have exams. Witw, I know. Or maybe actually I’d like to stay in BA. HAHAHA. Yeah anyway, I’ve been crazily busy, actually I don’t know with what.

But anyhow, I’ve been having very good times with the best of friends. You guys should know who you are. Dated back from the 4B gathering at Mdm Toh’s a few weeks ago, occasional hanging out with The Zoo in school despite the exams and deadlines, these are stuff that keep me going on. I’m also prolly gonna meet Maple this coming week. So it’s all good baby!

I’ve been playing the piano alot lately. Which is good. I’m currently hooked on to Decode – Paramore. It’s damn nice la, the song. Hayley Williams’ voice is a.. masterpiece man, if it even can be described that way. Hahaha. But yeah, learning here and there! (Actually I’m just finding stuff to keep me occupied, so any suggestions?) Valentine’s is coming soon baby! Oh, the romance and love. What are you guys out there going to do on this day! I kinda have plans.. NOT NOT. Heh

It’s coming to an end.

Finally, my two hellish weeks of assignments and proposals and deadlines and whatever you may call it, is freaking finally coming to an end. I just have one more presentation due tomorrow. (I actually can’t believe we’re supposed to present in front of the entire cohort witw) Oh well. I’d have to suck it up and be at my best.

My life has been nothing but schoolwork all over, really. I find myself doing editing of proposals and presentations over and over again. And it’s getting mundane I swear. But it’s okay since this is really going to be the base of my future. One thing, I just hate to be shot down at the end of my presentation, like as if we didn’t freaking try our hardest and best. But yeah, whatever, I think it’s probably due to the fact that they want to do better. Period. Heh.

Yahhhh but anyhow, it’s all good baby. I’m quite happy nowadays. I actually find myself not blogging about the events right? Facebook > Blogging. Hahahahaha. Like seriously! And here I am again, rambling about nonsensical stuff that makes no sense at all. I’m so sorry if you actually anticipated a post from me. But hey! I’m better at poems for what it’s worth HAHAHA. Anyway, I didn’t tell you that I’m doing this in class so yeah. I’ll see you guys soon.

Love from WordPress babeh,

Amar

an unhealthy late night

On a sleepless night like this, an Online Journal sure comes in handy. And thus, this explains the reason why I am here trying to type out a decent post despite it being 2.43am. Well, before I drown myself in the ever so Yoga-sutra English language, I have to say a few words to help lift the addled minds of this blog’s avid readers.

I know this may come in as shocking to loyal readers of amartheawesome.blogspot.com, and certainly, the sheer disappointment reflected on each and every of your face is depicted clearly through the screen of this wonderful technology. Yes, start smiling if you may, as you read this selfless entry only to find out that it is not Amar giving you a post.Well, all I have to offer to you who may have felt cheated would be a mere sincere word of apology. I am sorry.

So here’s the deal. I had a blog. A livejournal account to begin with. And as you continue reading this entry, you’will begin to understand why I introduced the word HAD in my previous sentence. chewherwords.livejournal.com was what it was called. A place where I would find great joy and exuberance in penning my thoughts and feelings down. And that special relationship I had built with the EX-online journal, had too many memories for me to handle. As stereotypical as it may sound, some good things just has to come to an end, a decent closure is what I would call it. I do miss the feeling of having to post an entry on my previous blog, and this explains why I am here blogging the words out of Amar’s wordpress thinga.(okay, i dont know how that even makes sense) HAHA. thanks Amar!

Anyway, this blog will now be shared between Amar and I, simply because I am too lazy to create a new account(guys, he’s just being a really good friend).Okay, I can feel the uncanny reactions. I can feel it. Ugh. Well, another sorry again I suppose? Will that do?Hmmm, so where was I? Ah! So, help yourselves to continue reading entries on this blog, only to know that there will be two writers. And yes, they all tell me life gets interesting.

Since the air is no longer hazy, I shall continue from where I left.

Time check. It’s 3.25. OH GOSH! I have been at this for half an hour and this is not healthy. My caffienated self is not helping . My eyes are going bazookaas as the clock ticks. I have to get some sleep before school officially starts again in another 6hrs.

Alright then, till the next entry. Hopefully to something more bracing:)). And I promise you, no more emo nemo post. Well, not anytime soon.

love,

Hazlyn

Disguise.

I sit perched on the edge of my bed, faint smiles drifting across my face, as I sift through the screen of my Acer. My  sleeves pushed up over my elbows, as I lean forward and journal about the holiday.

The two days of momentary thinking has caught me beyond realization. And despite being 19, I am still unsure about life’s unpredictability. So here I stand , trying to figure out my purpose in life.

Upset about how things are currently, the disposition I am in, and the point of this wholesome post, I am in utter disregard for the fact that I am using Amar’s account as a place of rant. I am totally sorry Amar. I am sorry if this post would have caught you beyond the hooks. I just needed a place. A place of solace to clear this messified underflowing mind.Ugh.

Dear God, I pray for the very strength you would give me in times so difficult. The strength to be bestowed upon those around me, and to those so dear to me. I beg upon your mercy for the clearance of all this mess and mindmapping bizarreness that’s been haunting the faith I have in myself.

For my parents,and how weird and critical things are getting, back at home, I seriously hope for the better. This is not the best decision you both would have had in your lives, but it certainly would be in time and years to come. Spare me your questions and overrated remarks. Please accept me for who I am because I am willing to swallow this whole junk of immaturity with open arms. As difficult as it may be for either parties,just  trust me, and trust in my ability to bring myself out of this mess you have created upon me. I don’t blame you for this difficult juncture. And though I may not have said it, I hope for the love each child would ever yearn for. As much as I would want things to be like how it used to be 16 years ago,I know that  it’ll never happen. So please, I have never asked anything more , and I don’t see why you both should. Mum, Dad, i’ll stll love you.

For my dearest sister who is only 15 and has a whole life ahead of her. Please God, give her that wisdom to rise to the occasion and set her free from the  dying state she is in. It is through your humble touch would light shine upon this road of her misery and uncertainties. For all the pain that will be bearable or unbearable for her, take it through her with ease. Bring her to me when she’s lost. I promise i’ll guide her through and teach her valuable teachings of life. Teachings in which you have imparted to me on my bumpy road.

God, I now pray for myself. I pray for courage  to face the world and its challenging rewards. I pray for the very fact that I am feeling weak and lousy about myself. Help me make out this phase of my life. To challenge myself to better things I will enjoy in the future. Provide me with the information to make the wisest decisions that will help and not ruin my ever so bright future. Bore me with all that Science has yet to give. Expose me to the wonders of Science, and create the love I would have to grow to do well in these 3 years of school. Erase all the negativity I have in me for what I am learning right now.  Never make me fall back on words of littleness. Never ever make me believe that I only have hands of a surgeon. Tell me that I am born with the brains, heart and the touch of a surgeon. Make this make-believe come alive. I have to count on you for that, for  I am losing my grip as the day passes, and I dont know what’s happening. So God, help me out. I am a victim of this self- destruction.

Dear God,  I have said what’s there to be said. And I hope it is through this note of communication would I become stronger in your presence. And as always, you’ve helped me through 19years of my life, and thus I write this note of share without much hesitation.

I once again thank you for those around me. For the wonder ful friends that I have, a beautiful home for me to shelter under and for HIM, whom you have created to be part of my life.

I specially want you to know how having HIM through this difficult moment has made things lighter. He has been that gleam of hope for days I never seem to make it. The fresh air of breath I would have knowing that HE’S standing right at the finishing line awaiting. God, you can see it in my eyes, read it on my face,the man you’ve brought to this place can help change my fate. I have yet to discover a life ahead with him. To share moments of joy and tears and erase it with my pink. I hope this man you’ve given me, would stay here for good. So dont take him away, dont take him away for I cant lose my sense of hope. This feeling of love for HIM is probably the most beautiful thing at this momnet so I thank you once again.

I hope to feel the answers to my prayers. Cause, it is then would I have gathered all the fiest in me to run this journey again.

yours truly,

Hazlyn.

PS: THANKS SO SO MUCH AMAR! REALLY. REALLY AMARTHEAWESOME.<3

No, not even a thousand songs.

I’m so sorry for all my loyal readers. But please try to understand that I’m very very busy in my personal and academic life yea? I’ve been typing so much for the past few weeks that I feel my fingers being numb to the whole typing thing. I need “Matthew’s disease for blogging” you know sometimes! I’m so so lazy to update my blog, but whatever it is! I finally got myself down to do some blogging D:

Anyway, associate me with proposals, assignments and deadlines. Yes, that’s what my life is about now. And maybe, add a little excitement because of that someone and the Zoo woohoo. They are the people that seriously keep me going in school. Whenever you see glimpses of them in school, a part of you just smiles and you’re just cheered up a whole lot. Gosh oh gosh. TRM really sucks the life out of you.

Also, I’m also very very tired nowadays. You know, I just wished the semestral holidays would come NOW NOW NOW! Damn it, there’s so much to do, yet there’s so little time. It’s okay. I find it challenging babeh. Come on TRM. Give me your best shot. I’m off now. I have to get some rest and continue on the Four-letter word module. Such a bi*ch. Ciao people! (:

Randomities and Happenings.

So much has happened since the last time I blogged which was practically a week ago. I’m officially back from my short-term hiatus from my personal life. The only reason why I was missing from the virtual world a few days ago was because of the fact that I was heaily involved in Ngee Ann’s Open House 2009, which in my opinion, was a huge success overall. That, in itself, has its own story to be told. The people who worked with me, should know what I mean eh.

Here I am, in Week 14. Gosh, time flies so fast you know. Then again, it’s pretty good for me because that means the semestral holidays are coming soon (I’m waiting for you 27 Feb). Projects and assignments are hitting us students hard nowadays. Even for me, there are just so many things to complete. Obviously, my prioritizing skills are just MEGA FAIL. So whaddya expect from me man. I’m just hoping my GPA would better my previous semester’s, which is highly unlikely coming from the rate I study.

Open House 2009. Well, honestly, for me, it’s a whole ball of mixed emotions. I’m damn sad that it’s all over and that all the seniors are going in less than 2 months time. I’m happy on the other hand, that we’re gonna step onto the fray and actually take charge of Ambassadors when the new academic year comes. Still, everyone who worked with me, I had much fun with you. The leaders, gosh, you have taught me SO MUCH. Never would I be able to do it without you guys imparting your knowledge on me.

From now onwards, I won’t be blogging so often yeah? Afterall, this blog is just open to some readers and you know me, I don’t like to update blogs everyday and all. Anything, just find me on Facebook, it’s so much easier to maintain and use. Hahahaha. Sucha lazy pig huh. Anyhow, I’m off now. If you notice, it’s like 8:30 in the morning. Yes, I have some free time in the morning, so I’m actually blogging. Whatever hokayyy. Alright, someone’s calling! Ciao!

Hell begins.

School sucks. School really does suck. This is gonna be a short post because I’m quite busy you know D: Anyway, it’s back to the old routine of waking up and going to a place where you must just study and study and study. Thank goodness there’s the Open House this week. So I get to skip school for two days this week. Woohoo. Even though my school starts late tmrw, that doesn’t give me a reason to stay up so late. Let’s just make sure I get through this hell (:

Let the flames begin.

Hell lot has happened since the last time I blogged. This is partly the reason why I don’t want so many people to know about my blog, ‘cus then they would expect so much of blogging from me. And for those who know me, I can’t blog so often you know! A busy man’s a busy man. Hahaha. Alright. Enough said, let’s start.

27th. Cenvikings Outing. Damn damn funnnn. Okay honestly, I was very happy to be with Bernice at the BGR Game station. We’re damn kickass I tell you. The clues are like freaking hard, and we sure had a great time laughing to ourselves you know! Hahaha. Then, dinner was power! The food was damn good, even though it was finger food. Probably tasted good due to the hard work put in by the Dinner Comm. Campers had fun, and it’s good that we still stay so bonded even though it’s like two months after RED Camp! (:

29th. Sarah Natasha Raziff’s 18th. The way we surprised her, was sweet. Was too sweet actually. Hahaha. I don’t wanna go into detail but just know that we got access to go into her house and surprise her with her family at home. All of us had fun catching up after a long time. There was tonnes of good food too! (Wle, how to lose weight!) Adam, Fauzi, Syad, Haz, Sar and me had a great time talking in MALAY HAHAHA. So yeah, Sar had fun which was good (:

30th. Went for Apaches’ gathering in school. Felt quite odd with all the campers whom I didn’t know. Night Safari with mum and sis in the night. Hahaha so fun! I seriously wouldn’t mind going with the others soon! It was quite eye-opening to know that there was a side like this in Singapore. The animals, the environment, the whole place was very pretty. The company was even better actually! No wonder Night Safari has been earning so many accolades luh!

31st. New Year’s Eve. Wouldn’t say it had been the best that I ever had. But it sure was a fun one? Hahaha. My family an I had a night picnic at East Coast Park area. It was very funny at the end, because what we intended to see was the fireworks from Marina Bay, but in the end, we got blocked by the ships and alll. But still, we played sparklers. Which is my #1 favourite should you NOT know. Hahahahaha.

1st. I just had a great day. I just had a freaking awesome day. I don’t intend to spill it all out here, so sue me. My year has started out so well, and I’m very very thankful for you. We’re awesome and you know it. You bloody know it (:

So yeah, it’s already 2009. Hell, I’m not psyched about school which is starting in a few days. So many freaking projects to complete. I just hope that this year would be a better one for me, my family, my friends and Singapore. For what it’s worth, to all my friends out there, go live your life and have a happy 2009! (: <3

Oh, the randomities.

Festive season, or not. You tell me, hahaha. I had a very good Christmas Eve and a Boxing Day but not so good Christmas, quite ironic actually if you think about it you knowwww. But yeah, I learn some stuff, so it’s all cool I suppose. This year’s Christmas season was quite different. I actually embraced the festivities and all. It definitely showed me how Singaporeans are so passionate about it. I like how people rush on the last few days of pre-christmas to CHIONG for presents!

Today was freaking kickass funny I tell you. We were supposed to go for a picnic at the Botanicals. But after our meeting, we felt that it was gonna rain so we changed our plans to hanging out at One Fullerton, by the sidewalks at the Singapore River. It was scenic to an extent. (screw the IR renovations la, wle!) But still, it was cool you know. Irsyad. Gosh, he is the joker of the century. We were playing Taboo and he is just the best at describing the words. Freaking funny to the max.

Weekend’s here! Cenvikings outing in school tmrw! It’s gonna be quite fun if you ask me, considering the fact that we just organized it this week. I hope the campers would have fun. ‘Cus if the campers have fun, I will have fun, really And assignment meeting on Sunday. Gosh, how crappy can this be man. Assignments, work, projects are really hitting me hard. I have to set aside time. But there is no time. Nooooo.

On a happy note, Matthew Zachary Liu is back. Finally, my master! I know he definitely had a great time at Turkey. I’m still waiting for the Sean Chi Bye i tell you to come back from the States! *shouts Rich Faggot* hahahaha! I’m starting to save more money, and that’s good heh heh. Alright, time to go back to my PES 09. Hey, I need the break hokayyy (: Cheers ya’ll!